When I miscarried Tony in 2009 at 8 weeks pregnant, I had a beautiful thought that has given me strength through this more recent process. It was reflecting on my vocation, my being a mother. The vocation of a mother is to nurture and teach her children the ways of God so that, God willing, they will choose Christ and be with Him forever in Eternity. Whether you believe in God or not, IF there is an afterlife, you want them to be good people and make it there.
So, in spite of all my suffering, I've done my job with Tony and Sebastian. I was here to be a part of God's amazing plan of creation, I loved and nurtured him, and now he's with God. I have no worries about where he is or the path he will choose. He is in the safest, most wonderful place.
But what makes it so difficult is that death was not a part of God's original plan. When He created Adam and Eve there was no "death". That's why we fight it with all our being. Literally.
In addition, no one wants to bury their children, regardless of how old or young they are at the time of death. It goes against every grain in our being.
But I have great peace knowing that, while I'm suffering here, Sebastian is in eternal bliss hanging out with the awesome people in heaven. I've done my job. This is my vocation.
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