Purpose

At times I wonder why this happened to me. Why did I lose Sebastian in the beginning of my 8th month of pregnancy?

Well, I was on retreat this weekend and I felt that God was trying to tell me how blessed I am. The retreat master was talking about each and every one of us being made in God's image, and the immeasurable dignity we have, just by being loved by God. Nothing we do can make us more lovable or increase our dignity before God. Beautiful, right? Well, then he went on to say that we don't choose our parents, our birthdate, where we are born, etc. Every child is a gift from God. Every one of us is a gift from God, designed by Him. No one came into being by accident. God had us in mind from the beginning of time.

That means, God had Sebastian in mind from the beginning of time. If Sebastian was going to come into being regardless of whether he belonged to me or someone else, I am SO thankful he came into mine. It made me really come to see how blessed I am. God knew from the beginning of time that Sebastian was going to be called home very early. Though I'm dealing with the grief of not having him here with me now, I can't imagine my life without Sebastian, and would do it all over again for the time that I did have with him in my womb.

Another thing that I think was incredible is that God granted me this light on Sebastian's due date, January 28th. Bad things happen, but God never abandons us. He has been with me every step of the way.

Thank you, Lord, for this incredible gift.


"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I dedicated you..." - Jeremiah 1:5